“我今年27,现在慌得一比”

人生 2020-8-1 2,481 8/1

我们90后的中年危机,从27岁就开始了。

27岁真的是个坎儿。

我的好朋友冬哥要过27岁生日了。他人称京城Party小王子,从高中就叱咤那时北京最火的夜店Mix,这些年带着我们,从黑方配红茶喝到山崎21年on the rock。

往年,冬哥的生日Party都提前仨月通知我们,今年却迟迟没信儿,我发去一个小表情,试探他是不是忘记请我。没想到,丫说根本没准备过。

就是觉得“没意思”,老王子说,“不只是夜店,整个生活都没意思。”

跟冬哥多聊了几句,我才明白,他是得上了最近疫情严峻的“27岁焦虑症”。

几个月前,韩国男团SHINee的主唱金钟铉自杀,27岁。欧美乐坛有一个有名的“27岁俱乐部”,成员是27岁就结束了生命的音乐人:有的是酗酒,有人用安眠药,还有人用猎枪。

27岁真的是个坎儿。

今年,第一批90后刚过了27岁。我们的27岁焦虑症,格外难熬。

初期症状:

你总说“没意思”

27岁焦虑症的最大症状就是:一觉醒来,忽然觉得什么都没意思了。

冬哥说:王者荣耀没意思,抖音没意思,连抖音上的小姐姐都没意思。

他进一步解释:这就好比你们女生突然觉得,这个包包挺好看,但我居然没有买的欲望;那个口红出了新色号,但我已经有了很像的一只。27年来,你第一次发现,原来,口红们都“很像”,这种感觉是很绝望的。

27岁的人还觉得,自己也变得没意思了。曾经说过的豪言壮语,突然就不信了。

曾经你说:钱,不是攒出来的,是挣出来的!

曾经你劝那个很抠的朋友说:你再省那几块钱,也不会变得有钱的。花!

两年前的你,说剁手一件加拿大鹅,就剁了;一年前的你,说买双椰子,就买了。

27岁的你,挤在早高峰的地铁上,突然醒悟:钱,还是要存的,毕竟可能挣不出来了。

27岁以前,女孩说,老娘不愁嫁,一辈子都会有人爱。

27岁后,女孩看着旁边吃着泡面的99年实习生(天啊《还珠格格》播出时她还没出生),觉得自己可能是真的嫁不出去了。

27岁以前,男孩说,怕什么,越老越有魅力。

27岁后,男孩才发现,“老”并不是必要条件,与老相关的“有车有房有地位”才是。而自己,可能只是单纯地老成了老狗逼。

20岁的小奶狗会哄漂亮姐姐开心,40岁的老男人会让姑娘有崇拜感。27岁,真的很尴尬。

中期症状:

你改口说“I need to change!”

“没意思”了一阵,你决定“来点儿改变吧”。

想买个房,发现只能买得起老家的。

要不买个车,上外牌也行啊。可是看得上的买不起,买得起的看不上。

最后,买了个包。用来装你的悲伤。

换个工作吧。面试时HR问你有哪些技能,你说不出来。你发现,你的职业优势全和前公司紧密相连:你熟知的仅仅是,公司钉钉打卡的最远距离和从那里到公司的精准时间。

那就先裸辞吧。没想到,待业的人找工作,薪酬会一落千丈。

有的人幸运一点,在27岁升了个职。虽然工资没涨,但起码名片好看了。

这一年,你带着一个小团队,临摹着老板给你画的假饼,说着自己都不相信的话。

在你的手下识破你的谎言时,你继续给他们做着爱的教育:你们是还小,等到27岁的时候,你们就会看破不说破了。

那就改变一下生活吧。

养只猫?

结果,你看着人家过着成功人士的生活,有房有狗有孩子。你呢,表面上光鲜,背地里连猫都不敢养。

不过别担心,其实那些27岁就有了孩子有了狗的“成功人士”也很虚无。

一次我去成功人士家做客,刚到楼下就被一幕凄凉触动。院子里,他家女儿追着邻居家的金毛,他家的吉娃娃追着他的女儿,他,27岁的成功人士,追着他家的吉娃娃。

不知道你能不能想象,这个场景真的很27岁。

明明有那么多种活法,为什么你要选择最累的一种?

有人带着这样的疑问,豁出去了,离开城市去旅行。

但当他坐上飞往远方的经济舱,吃了硬梆梆的小面包才醒悟,没钱,怎么活都挺累的。

改变现状?西西弗推石头听说过没有?

你回到老家寻求温暖,得到的却是:你爸爸催婚,你妈妈催产。

你揣着烟偷跑进厕所,打开窗户和抽风机,在按打火机的一刹那也按下抽水马桶的按钮(盖住打火机的声音不让爸妈听到)。你坐在马桶盖上,猛吸一口烟,心里骂:老子都27了,怎么活得这么憋屈?

晚期症状:

一睁眼,“又是充实的一天!”

其实,让我们焦虑的数字不是27,而是6。

我们从出生到上学前有6年,接着,小学6年,中学一共6年,大学4年。

小学6年级,你开始想去哪个初中。高三时,你想着上个好大学。大四或者研二,你拼命找工作。

曾经的每一个6年,无论愿不愿意,你都在成长。

只有在27岁,当你毕业了快6年的时候,第一次,没有生活裹挟着你进入下一个阶段,你彻底蒙圈了:接下去该干点什么?

你看到的未来不是成长,而是可能停滞,甚至滑坡。

爱情的无望,事业的停滞,性能力的下降。

今年,第一批90后刚过了27岁。

这一批90后,刚攒够一套首付,房价就达到了最高点。

这一批90后,在工作的前两年,信仰着7080后鼓吹的“但行好事,莫问前程”。转眼,移动互联网创业潮来了,“不问前程”的意见领袖们急吼吼收了收肚子,撸起了袖子,写了篇宣言,标题是——《创业是实现阶级跃迁的唯一路径》,然后就挥手告别了。

曾经关注的心灵圣地,都成了焦虑贩卖机。从前我们提倡深读一本西方小说;现在有人告诉你,不行!这样的速度无法解决你的“知识焦虑”,买个VIP吧,一年听300本书!

从前喜欢夜晚时一个人坐在下着雨的窗边,耐心地看完一部文艺片儿;现在,别人总是告诉你,别看这些了!赶紧去写网文,开发剧本!IP要大!票房要10亿起!

从前干完该干的活儿,剩下的时间都是自己的;现在不行了,你的业余时间已经被规划得密不透风了:

晚上,你又听完了一本书,“满足”地躺在床上,想:今天又进步了一点点!

28岁,又是一条好汉!

上周末,冬哥还是提前过了个生日。组了个小局,边看世界杯,边唠嗑。

举杯,我们的话题都是:

创业还是继续打工?

恋爱应该真心付出还是有所保留?

性能力到底是从多少岁开始下滑的?

27岁这年,我们终于集体沦落为俗人。谈生活琐事,为稻粱谋。

但我悄悄试探,发觉冬哥对酒的品味,丝毫没有退步。而我在忙碌的知识付费之余,也还是会坐在下着雨的窗边,耐心地看完一部文艺片。

27岁的坎儿,早晚都会迈过去,它终归只是内心难免动荡的一年罢了。

28岁,我们会发现,老子又成了一条好汉。

原文连接

- THE END -

人生

8月01日11:15

2

非特殊说明,本博所有文章均为博主原创。

共有 37 条评论

  1. 우리 카지노 계열

    WOW just what I was searching for. Came here by searching for 휴지끈

  2. 스포츠 토토 사이트

    all the time i used to read smaller articles or reviews which as
    well clear their motive, and that is also happening
    with this article which I am reading at this time.

  3. 승무패 사이트

    Hello, I wish for to subscribe for this weblog to get newest updates, therefore where can i do it please help.

  4. replica air jordan 18 retro yellow suede

    Superb blog you have here but I was wanting to know if you knew of any user discussion forums that cover the
    same topics discussed here? Id really like to be a
    part of community where I can get feedback from other experienced individuals that share the same interest.

    If you have any recommendations, please let me know. Thanks a
    lot!

  5. 평택 출장안마

    Amazing! Its really awesome post, I have got much clear idea on the topic of from this paragraph.

  6. 원주립카페

    Does your website have a contact page? Im having problems locating
    it but, Id like to send you an email. Ive got some ideas for your blog you might be interested in hearing.
    Either way, great blog and I look forward to seeing it grow over
    time.

  7. 슬롯꽁머니

    Every weekend i used to pay a quick visit this website, for
    the reason that i want enjoyment, since this this site conations actually good funny information too.

  8. 카지노 쿠폰

    I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your blogs really nice, keep it up!

    Ill go ahead and bookmark your site to come back in the
    future. Many thanks

  9. 온라인 슬롯 추천

    Hello, just wanted to mention, I liked this post. It was inspiring.
    Keep on posting!

  10. 온 카지노 먹튀

    Hello, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was just curious if you get a lot of
    spam responses? If so how do you prevent it, any plugin or anything
    you can recommend? I get so much lately its driving me mad
    so any support is very much appreciated.

  11. 벤 델핀

    Hello there! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could locate a captcha plugin for my comment form?

    Im using the same blog platform as yours and
    Im having problems finding one? Thanks a lot!

  12. 포커 테이블

    Hi to every body, its my first pay a quick visit of this
    website; this website carries amazing and in fact fine material
    in support of readers.

  13. 카지노 꽁머니

    Its genuinely very complex in this active life to listen news on Television, therefore I just use
    the web for that reason, and get the hottest information.

  14. tusba escort

    I loved your blog post.Really thank you!

  15. tusba escort

    I really enjoy the article post.Really thank you! Great.

  16. saray escort

    I really enjoy the article post.Really thank you! Great.

  17. özalp escort

    I really enjoy the article post.Really thank you! Great.

  18. 하남 출장샵

    In fact when someone doesnt be aware of after that its up to other people that they will assist, so here it occurs.

  19. omega seamaster titanium

    Appreciating the time and effort you put into your website and detailed information you present.
    Its awesome to come across a blog every once in a while that isnt the same
    outdated rehashed information. Great read!
    Ive saved your site and Im adding your RSS feeds to my
    Google account.

  20. 사설 토토 직원 넷마블

    Have you ever considered about adding a little bit more than just your
    articles? I mean, what you say is fundamental and everything.

    Nevertheless imagine if you added some great
    visuals or video clips to give your posts more, "pop"! Your content is excellent but with pics and videos, this
    blog could undeniably be one of the greatest in its niche.
    Very good blog!

  21. 포커

    Wonderful blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News.

    Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
    Ive been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!
    Thanks

  22. 스포츠 베팅

    Thank you for some other informative website.
    Where else may I get that kind of information written in such an ideal method?
    Ive a project that Im simply now working on, and Ive been at the look out for such information.

  23. 미니 게임

    Appreciation to my father who told me on the topic of this web site, this web site
    is really amazing.

  24. 카지노 커뮤니티

    This article offers clear idea designed for the new users of
    blogging, that actually how to do blogging and site-building.

  25. SM 카지노 보증금 3000만원

    Yes! Finally something about 소울카지노.

  26. 우리카지노계열

    Wow, marvelous weblog layout! How lengthy have
    you been blogging for? you make running a blog glance easy.

    The entire glance of your web site is great, as neatly as the content material!

  27. reef shoes sale

    Wow, awesome blog structure! How lengthy have you been running a blog for?
    you made running a blog look easy. The whole glance of your
    website is wonderful, as smartly as the content!

  28. altınekin eskort

    <a href="http://nhescorts.com/category/altinekin-escort/&quot; title="altinekin escort">altınekin escort</a>

  29. akören eskort

    <a href="http://nhescorts.com/category/akoren-escort/&quot; title="akoren escort">akören escort</a>

  30. akşehir eskort

    <a href="http://nhescorts.com/category/aksehir-escort/&quot; title="aksehir escort">akşehir escort</a>

  31. 바카라사이트

    I have to thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this website.
    Im hoping to see the same high-grade blog posts by you in the future as well.
    In truth, your creative writing abilities has inspired me
    to get my own site now ;)

  32. 블랙잭

    Remarkable things here. Im very satisfied to see your article.
    Thanks a lot and Im taking a look forward to touch you.
    Will you please drop me a mail?

  33. ünye eskort

    <a href="http://fnescorts.com/category/unye-escort/&quot; title="unye escort">ünye escort</a>

  34. sakarya eskort

    <a href="http://jpescorts.com/&quot; title="sakarya escort">sakarya escort</a>

  35. adapazarı eskort

    <a href="http://jpescorts.com/category/adapazari-escort/&quot; title="adapazari escort">adapazarı escort</a>

  36. cheap chaco sandals

    I really like what you guys are usually up too.
    This sort of clever work and reporting! Keep up the great works guys Ive included you guys to my personal
    blogroll.

  37. 밑슴

    Simply want to say your article is as astounding.
    The clearness to your put up is just great and that
    i can assume youre knowledgeable on this subject.
    Well with your permission allow me to grab your RSS
    feed to stay up to date with coming near near post. Thanks a million and please continue the enjoyable work.

%d 博主赞过: